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Chapter 1: Finally

From “The Ultimate Cosmic Voyage”


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Reble Ranway: I got in my ship, ready to blast off from earth for the last time. While flying away from the earth, I pressed a button, and then watched as the earth began to explode and my goatee began to grow. I then looked back at the QEC which was littered with what appeared to be random characters flooding the screen. Eventually it stopped. There was nothing. The QEC was no longer connecting. It then show…..

[Reble Ranway wakes up with a terrible headache, still sitting in his ship, the Space Cruiser: a slightly old and run-down ship that is still fast and reliable. He realises his goatee is gone and is relieved to know that he did not destroy Earth. He looks at the QEC which is just spewing incoherent noise, being sent from the one that another scientist on the ship was using.]

[Reble Ranway kicks open lab door and enters. There is a sign on the door that reads “Dr. Jaan Sechs”]

Reble Ranway [yelling]: WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THAT NOISE ON THE QEC FOR, LAB RAT?

Jaan Sechs: Why do you call me lab rat??

Reble Ranway: Your QEC is still on!

Jaan Sechs: Damn… I forgot to unpower the qec again… I would still have my own ship if I hadn’t left the fuel siphons opened…

Reble Ranway [takes Jaan’s QEC and yells in it]: (inaudable screams)

[Reble Ranway throws the QEC back at Jaan and it shatters into a pile of theoretical shards]

Jaan Sechs: You broke it!

Reble Ranway: You don’t need it.

Jaan Sechs: [looking at Reble’s QEC]: Why is the transmitting light on?

Reble Ranway: What?? Oh shit… At least nobody is reading this

Jaan Sechs: Aaand good job Ranway, everything was uploaded… You should probably turn this off

Reble Ranway: You’re right…

Jaan Sechs [from afar]: ALL HAIL JA…

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